Filed under Porn
Over 1,000 new readers today.
Why?
Because the sick, sick man who wrote a story about sawing off the legs of Girls Aloud has been cleared of obscenity (rightly) and a lot of Googlers seem to think I might be him.
Approximately 33% of visitors to this post subsequently chose to go read the story anyway, despite me advising against it.
There’s clearly a market for this kind of thing.
:: Share or discuss :: 2009-06-29 :: Kevin Murphy
Filed under BBC, Comedy, Michael Fucking Jackson, Radio, Writing
What was I doing when I found out Michael Jackson died?
Why, I was listening to this sketch on the radio, my first broadcast credit.
:: Share or discuss :: 2009-06-26 :: Kevin Murphy
Filed under BBC, Comedy, Writing
Last night, somewhere in London, some actors stood in front of an audience, on a BBC radio sound stage, and said some words what I wrote. Out loud.
Hopefully, the audience laughed.
Hopefully, the words will be broadcast on topical news comedy Newsjack tonight at 11pm on BBC Radio 7.
Apparently, it’s normal for them to record more material than they can fit in the 30-minute slot, so there’s still a chance it may get cut.
Frankly, I’m happy that somebody saw fit to record something I wrote. That’s never happened before.
The show is podcast, if you fancy checking it out at a reasonable hour.
I’m not sure whether they recorded the sketch I submitted (about a very special maths teacher) or one of the one-liners. I hope it’s the sketch.
Fingers crossed.
1 comment :: Share or discuss :: 2009-06-25 :: Kevin Murphy
Filed under Music
BBC Radio One just broadcast Mylo’s “Doctor Pressure”, complete and unexpurgated, at 11.24am on a Saturday.
Come on, you know how it goes…
Motherfucker’s gonna drop the pressure.
Motherfucker’s gonna drop the pressure.
Motherfucker’s gonna drop the pressure.
Motherfucker’s gonna drop the pressure.
Motherfucker’s gonna drop the pressure.
Motherfucker’s gonna drop the pressure.
Motherfucker’s gonna drop the pressure.
Motherfucker’s gonna drop the pressure.
Motherfucker’s gonna drop the pressure.
Motherfucker’s gonna drop the pressure.
Motherfucker’s gonna drop the pressure.
Motherfucker’s gonna drop the pressure.
Vernon Kay really is a twat.
2 comments :: Share or discuss :: 2009-06-13 :: Kevin Murphy
Filed under Politics
Some days I really am proud to be British.
:: Share or discuss :: 2009-06-09 :: Kevin Murphy
No, not that one.
The first one.
“[I am] highly discontented to understand the great numbers of negars and Blackamoores which are crept into this realm … who are fostered and relieved here to the great annoyance of her own liege people … should be with all speed avoided and discharged out of this Her Majesty’s dominions”
Blimey.
“Her Majestie understanding that there are of late divers blackmoores brought into this realme, of which kinde of people there are allready here to manie … Her Majesty’s pleasure therefore ys that those kinde of people should be sent forth of the lande”
Talk like that wouldn’t look out of place at a BNP rally.
Except for all the long words, maybe.
:: Share or discuss :: 2009-06-09 :: Kevin Murphy
Filed under Politics, Race, YouTube Comedy
Just did a little bit of reading about the BNP.
They’re usually portrayed in the media as cartoon Nazis, so I wanted to see what their policies on race and immigration actually are.
A lot of odd talk on their web site about “indigenous” Britons.
Odd, because pretty much everyone in the country is the spawn of an immigrant or a pillaging rapist, if you go back far enough.
But the BNP have thought of that.
“We use the term indigenous to describe the people whose ancestors were the earliest settlers here after the last great Ice Age and which have been complemented by the historic migrations from mainland Europe.”
So, presumably, the descendants of anybody who came here before roughly the late 19th century is sound, and the rest can fuck off back to wherever their great great grandparents came from?
About as rational a proposition as the Amish belief system.
Or the Conkeys.
:: Share or discuss :: 2009-06-09 :: Kevin Murphy
Filed under Wordpress, texturbation
New blog design. If you’re reading via RSS, check it out and let me know what you think.
2 comments :: Share or discuss :: 2009-06-09 :: Kevin Murphy
I’m told this is on page three. I sincerely hope they didn’t use any of the photos.
Ian La Frenais to mentor North East comedy wrting trio
“It’s a great opportunity, no matter what happens,” said 32-year-old former journalist Kevin, from Darlington. “I’ve been writing like a lunatic… the deadline for the first draft is Monday.”
Speaking of which…
:: Share or discuss :: 2009-06-04 :: Kevin Murphy
Filed under Sex
Via Ben Goldacre a study into nob size.
OBJECTIVE: To establish if the ‘myth’ about whether the size of a man’s penis can be estimated from his shoe size has any basis, in fact.
SUBJECTS AND METHODS: Two urologists measured the stretched penile length of 104 men in a prospective study and related this to their shoe size.
RESULTS: The median stretched penile length for the sampled population was 13 cm and the median UK shoe size was 9 (European 43). There was no statistically significant correlation between shoe size and stretched penile length.
CONCLUSION: The supposed association of penile length and shoe size has no scientific basis.
The question is: who does the stretching, and how do you decide when to stop stretching? When you hear the first whimper?
:: Share or discuss :: 2009-06-03 :: Kevin Murphy