The Mysterious Case Of The Disappearing Soap
Filed under Cambodia, Phnom Penh
Dammit, my soap was gone again!
I’ve been diligently collecting miniature soap bars from every hotel I’ve stayed in that supplies them gratis for months.
Soap is important, particularly in crummy guesthouses like the $5 lakeside floating shithole I’m staying in right now – no bog roll, no bum gun, not even a wash basin.
When you have to wash your arse with your hand after every dump, you need your soap.
And that was my second to last piece, dammit!
Five bars gone, in five days!
Where the hell were they going?
This morning, as I laid cable and, annoyed, pulled my last hoarded bar from my bathroom bag, I hypothesised that perhaps, because I’d been leaving the soap on the floor – the only available surface, after all – that a drip from the shower was lubricating the soap sufficiently that it slowly slid right across the room and down the drain in the corner, over the course of the day.
It seemed like a reasonable hypothesis.
The only other explanation I could come up with was that somebody was coming into my room every day, stealing my soap, but ignoring my laptop and cameras. Absurd.
I put the wet soap on the floor, and watched to see if it slid.
After a couple of minutes, it still had not moved, not so much as a millimetre.
Hmm, I thought, so much for that theory.
Then a big fucking black rat walked in through the open bathroom door, ignored me, picked up my last bar of soap in its teeth, and departed, nonchalantly, through a hole in the wall.
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2008-07-19 :: Kevin Murphy